The Old Testament recounts the story of King Saul, a charismatic and religious man chosen by God to be king over his people. Though favored by God, Saul turns rebellious and mad, driven by an obsession to kill his most loyal and faithful servant, David, who doesn’t stop honoring Saul. Like David, Marine finds herself loving and fearing a man who is set over her to guide and protect her. Like King Saul, her husband Loammi turns from a charming leader to a rebellious, mad, narcissistic, and victim-playing abuser.
This the author’s story (Nathalie Gaillot Author), mirrored in the Word of God, providing her with answers she had sought for years and helping her understand what was wrong with her husband, as she walked as a child of God praying for a miracle to heal her abusive marriage.
This book is for all the women who know the pain of domestic abuse and seek to understand what a loving wife, a partner, should do. As she shares her story, her hope is to encourage you to search your unique story and answers in the Bible.
I received “Married to King Saul: A Woman’s Quest to Understand Her Abusive Husband” for review, and as I had hoped and feared, it took me on a roller coaster of emotions. I, too, am a woman who has suffered through the confusion and turmoil of abusive relationships in one form or another. It has been the running theme throughout my life, and I could fully identify with this book and the question “why.” It’s a memoir written parallel with the biblical story of David and King Saul and invites readers to “find their unique story and answers in the Bible.”
After I left my abusive relationship, I wrote down my story to help me understand why it’s not always God’s plan to sustain them, especially when they’re destructive. My biggest fear in life is passing down generational curses. I want to leave my children with an example to stand up for themselves, set boundaries, find their identities in Christ, and not follow my path. I started to blog and named it “Cats in the Cradle,” because, during my therapy, I realized that healing from trauma would not be overnight. I worried how a lifetime of learned behaviors, incorrect thought processes, and PTSD would affect my parenting. The burden of doing it on my own overwhelmed me, and the Lord asked me to give it over to him and he would walk me through it day by day, layer by layer, as he healed my heart and helped me see myself through his eyes and to love as he loves and forgive as he forgives. Forgiving the men in my life was never a problem, as I knew the forces at work behind it all. I fully grasped the prayer of Jesus when he said, “Father forgive them, for they know not what they do.” My biggest obstacle has been forgiving myself and overcoming the trauma bond and guilt I sometimes feel.
I’ve found that when I’ve told my story to others, I feel judged for my bad choices. I sense that most do not understand my choices or why I thought the way I did. I once had someone tell me, “I’m trying to understand you, Elizabeth, your pain, but I wouldn’t have made the decisions you did!”. This conversation has kept me in a shame spiral for years. As I read this book, I found it refreshing to read another survivor’s thought processes as she contemplated her choices – to stay or go, searched for the why, wrestled with God, and dug into her Faith. I commend the author for her courage to share her story. It uplifted me to know that I wasn’t alone in my thoughts and struggles, and she has flammed my desire to share what I’ve struggled with and the hope and freedom I’ve found in Christ.
I highly recommend this book to anyone going through an abusive relationship, coming out of one, and to the children from an abusive relationship. This book is thought-provoking and offers hope and encouragement for healing from it all. I love that it points the reader to find their story in the Bible, as that is where we learn to trade lies for the truth, and we can properly see our situations and ourselves through the proper lenses and the eyes of Jesus. I think it’s a great tool to help women forgive others and themselves, and the story is very relatable, which is comforting.
Disclaimer, I received this book for review by the author, all opinions are my own.
About the Author
Bonjour! I was born and raised in France near a city called Lyon. I speak a few languages and have been a French teacher in Minnesota, which has become my home. Always a teacher at heart, I am now a developmental editor in educational publishing. I enjoy words, poetry, writing, and reading.
I am a mother, which I consider to be my most wonderful accomplishment, and which I owe fully to God.
Life goes fast and it is not always easy to make the most of it or make the best choices, but we can be thankful that God has not left us alone in this rich and complex world. I pray you are able to know his love through all circumstances, and enjoy the people he has placed in your life.