Escaping a toxic relationship can feel like breaking a piece of your heart off; like a wolf chews its leg off to escape a steel trap. Leaving is never easy, but sometimes it’s necessary to save yourself and others from dying inside.Bryant McGill
My hope for this post is that those who are in an abusive relationship will leave, and those that have left and are struggling will the aftermath will find hope in the healing process.
I too have been through domestic violence, and narcissist abuse. The struggle is real – both mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. The healing will be much like peeling off layers of an onion, it’s a process and will take time. If you are like me, you suffer from false guilt, trauma bonds, PTSD, panic attacks, anxiety, and depression. You will have good days and bad days as you are working through things.
The good news… I found hope in my healing and trauma process from my relationship with Jesus. Jesus has offered me unconditional love, forgiveness, grace, and renewal daily. I know I can’t do it on my own, but HE has been faithful in my “healing process” as He renews my mind daily by replacing the lies with TRUTH as I spend time with Him!
Here are some of the coping skills that I use daily:
- Take the time to grieve.
- Focus on the present – don’t dwell on the what-ifs and should-haves, this is false guilt.
- Focus on the evidence. Much like childbirth, you will forget the pain and only remember the good. Don’t forget the bad, because more than likely you are trauma bonded, and will want to go back at some point.
- Replace the lies and false guilt with GODS TRUTH – read your Bible, Pray, and Worship
- Take an active part with God in renewing your life.
- Self-care – journaling, prayer, friends, hobbies, music, dance
It doesn’t happen overnight, but it does get better!
Music is one of my favorite ways to help me cope with the many feelings that I may be feeling from day to day.
Psalms 103 is one of my favorite songs to play!
Below is my “Abuse Survivors Playlist”
It’s a mix of songs that will help you remember, validate your feelings, empower you, and give you hope. They’re not all Christian, as sometimes I need to validate and sort out feelings that come up. Just remember to not stay stuck there. 🙂
You can also find it on spotify
I also have several Christian playlists on my Spotify account for when you feel hopeless, alone, anxious, and heartbroken. I use these all the time.
Note: I’m not a doctor, but these are things that have worked for me.